


See In Color

by TaraTyler



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6823957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraTyler/pseuds/TaraTyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a soulmate au in which you can't see colors unless in physical contact with your soulmate</p>
            </blockquote>





	See In Color

The educational programs in the pod had warned Kara of the changes that would occur to her body upon this new planet. She was taught of all of the adjustments and changes she would have to make Kara discovered that she must be increasingly gentle with the humans. She learned that in this new place she would have to hide herself and her differences. What Kara had not expected was to be totally color blind.

As soon as her feet touched the ground, colors melted away. The entire Earth was nothing but black and white. The only stark colors came when he did, Kal-El, no longer a baby but a man full grown. He spoke a stilted and awkward version of her language but was strong and kind. It hurts to have lost her purpose in life in one fell swoop, her chance to have the last of her blood family to herself.

It hurts even more to know that her last family is going to give her to someone else. He explains it to her as gently as he can, but she loses her temper. This man is a stranger to her, but he’s also all that she has. At some point the languages mix. She lashes out in English, Spanish, French, and Kryptonian. Kal-El just sits back and takes it. Kara had given up twenty-four years of her life and the honor of dying with her planet for the baby Kal-El; and he hadn’t had the decency to still be a baby when she got there.

Her little fist meets his ribcage with an audible crack and Kal-El doubles over; falling to his knees.

“You’re stronger than me, Kara Zor-El. You have to be careful.” He scolds.

Kara’s wicked tongue lets loose on him again with even more fury this time. The full grown Kryptonians face falls as he catches hints of the pain under the anger. When the facade finally cracks, he is there to hold her while she cries. Once calmed, she asks where all of the color has gone. With a soft smile he takes her into his arms and explains in a most reverential tone about being color blind until Lois Lane.

She listens in awe and hopes that the color returns to her life soon. However, Kara can’t help but to fear that she won’t ever be able to be happy again without Krypton. Maybe life without colors was her reminder that she was supposed to be grieving. Kara had been left on Earth to be the one true last. She was the only one who knew what had been truly lost.

Kara brushes the dirt and dust off of the pure white outfit that she had been wearing in the pod. She accepts Kal-El’s offered hand and follows him in the air to the Danvers household. He leaves her outside to talk to the kind looking man and woman. She takes a seat on the tree stump outside and takes a deep breath. Kara can detect salt in the air. It lingers on her tongue and in her nose when she inhales.

This planet was so different with its birds in the air and its fragile people. The salt in the air tickles her nose. It causes a funny feeling in her chest that explodes out of her mouth and nose. It was strong enough to make her shoot five or six feet off of the stump. She lands hard and goes sprawling on the ground. She looks all around for anyone who might have seen with fear in her eyes and heart.

It’s the laugh that alerts Kara to the fourth heartbeat in the house. Distinctly feminine and around Kara’s own age; the young Kryptonian whipped around looking for the source of the laugh. She could see the brunette at a window in the kitchen area. The girl was a couple of inches taller and wore dark clothes. Kara waved to her with a sheepish smile.

The girl was so pretty, all dark shiny eyes and long limbs. Dark hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail and one hand covered her mouth when she realized that Kara must have heard her laugh. Kara was too far away for any human to have heard the light giggle, but then again Kara wasn’t human. It was then that she realized how strange she must seem. Operating under the assumption that the girl belonged to the Danvers’, Kara hopefully wouldn’t be in any trouble over the accidental revelation of her alienness.

She floated herself up and into a standing position before allowing her bare feet to touch the ground. The girl’s jaw dropped open and she cursed in English slang. She walked lightly to meet the girl at the window. Her feet weren’t used to the rough Earthen ground and it hurt a little. Kara stopped in front of the odd staring human girl and waited for her to do something.

“Hello Earthling, my name is Kara Zor-El of the late great House of El. How do you do?” Kara stuck out her hand to shake. Her pod had caught her of Earth social conduct. She just hoped that she was executing it properly.

“Alexandra Danvers, erh… of the House Danvers, I guess. I’m fine, thanks. How are you?” ALex offers in return, taking Kara’s glove covered hand and shaking it once firmly.

Kara looked herself over as though checking for injury.

“Physically… I am well.” Kara answers, considering her options and deciding that that was the safest course of action.

“What about not physically? What about the rest of you?” Alex Danvers asked and Kara took a heavy breath.

“I am… troubled, I have to say. It hurts a little bit. It hurts a lot, actually.” Kara’s voice goes heavy, but it’s clear to lex that she’s doing her best to be.

“Why are you troubled? Why do you hurt?” the kind human asked.

“I’ve lost everything, Alexandra Danvers. I watched it all burn.” Kara says, still stony faced and outwardly nonplussed.

“What do you mean?” Alex asks, assuming that it was the normal teenage melodrama. She saw it at school all of the time. It wa pretty average in fact.

“I watched my planet, consumed by my people, burn. Every person that I knew besides Kal-El. Everything that I knew gone, and I , the last, have lost my purpose and my calling. I have even lost colors.” Kara does not cry for it would be unseemly. She is the last daughter of the house of El and she must maintain a certain level of decorum. This daughter of the House Danvers will not see her pain.

“Alright, Alien Girl, come inside and have some ice cream. You can call it an Earth tradition. We eat ice cream when we are sad. Are you hungry?” Alex asks, unsure of what to do with the information that she was just handed. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-five.”

“What?!”

“Only chronologically.” Kara explains.

\-----/////-----

Alex knew that the sister that she had just been handed was a little bit odd. On top of being an alien, she just had to be super-smart, super-strong, super-cool alien genius girl. The sun had quickly dyed her long hair blonde and bright eyes blue. On top of everything else, she had to be beautiful. For so long, Alex had been the center of attention in this family, a genius in her own right, and now there was a girl made of stardust and sunshine intruding in her home.

Alex hadn’t asked for a genius, blonde, alien sister. Alex didn’t want to be seen with the oddball at school. Alex didn’t even want to touch her for fear of injury. In the dark was different. Not even Kara could see in the pitch black of Midvale country nights. None of his had stopped Alex from loving Kara.

In the night, Kara’s alien ice queen facade, and her ‘Sunny Danvers’ facade fell, and she was just heartbroken and lonely. Alex was the only one who knew that she cried at night. Kara was the only one who knew that Alex cared enough to slip into the bed beside of her and hold her until she fell asleep. Alex was the only one who knew that kara could cry. Alex was gone by morning and neither girl ever mentioned that it had happened.

Alex didn’t know when the Alien Girl wormed her way into her heart, but it happened. There were so many things that she hated having to do for The Weirdo, but eventually the routine of it became a comfort. Kara was colorblind because of some wacky Kryptonian tradition that she refused to talk about. It was some fun to dress Kara in the mornings. The only time that Alex had allowed Kara to dress herself, she had ended up in an odd combination of red and orange that could burn eyeballs. Alex had laughed until she cried.

\-----/////-----

“Kara, why won’t you tell me about why you’re colorblind?” Alex asks.

“Why won’t you touch me?” Kara asks in reply. “If you want me to tell you something that I don’t want to talk about you, I want you to tell me about something that you too, refuse to acknowledge.”

“They try to make us be sisters, kara. Mom made you my responsibility after Dad…” Alex confesses. “It made me realize that I’m taking care of someone who could rip me apart. Don’t deny it, you could rend me limb from limb. I know that you wouldn’t, but you could. Statement of fact. You’ve lived with us for three years. You’re sweet, kind, and strong. You’re pretty much perfect. I do love you, but you aren’t my sister. You won’t ever be my sister. Ond day, you may decide to follow in our cousin’s footsteps, don the cape so to speak. If you were my sister, I wouldn’t ever be able to encourage you to do that. If you weren’t my sister… I could survive it at the least. I could even join you. I won’t touch you because I would be forced to never let you go.”

“I used to be able to see colors. I remember the red sun Rao, I remember that it died the sky pink. I remember the blue of my mother and my aunt’s eyes and the black of their hair, but I don’t know what color your eyes are Alex, and I doubt that I will ever be able to see it. The rods and cones of a Kryptonian’s eyes are made for Krypton. The way the Earth works is different somehow and it’s like all of the color was sucked away. However, our chemistry changes when we meet our soulmate. Back home they used to send us away to meet our soulmates. Just the touch of a hand and we would know.” Kara holds her hand up flat to Alex. She is tempted to touch hers to Kara’s but refrains. The girl lays it down wistfully.

“You might have a soulmate on Earth. Clark met his here, didn’t he?” Alex asks. All she wants is to make things better for Kara.

“Yes, however, her grew up here and he was raised by these people and in their ways. I am not the same in many ways. I am of another place and another culture. On my planet, I would have been considered nearly a woman in full. Soon, I would have been married and having children. In fact, it was expected that I would raise Kal-El here myself.” Kara says and if Alex hadn’t been paying close attention, she would have missed the break in her voice.

“You know that you don’t have to be strong for me, Kara.” Alex states the fact like a demand.

“I do know that, and it is appreciated, but I must be strong for myself.” Kara insists.

“Holding all of that in isn’t good for you. One day… well, if it’s ever too much, just know that you can come to me.” Alex offers, a crack in her heart belonging to Kara opens just a little bit wider.

“Even in the daylight?” the blonde alien girl asks.

“Yeah, even in the daylight, Alien Girl.” Alex laughs it off, but the statement hurts just a little bit in a totally unexpected way.

\-----/////-----

It wasn’t until a few weeks later at the high school where Alex was a senior and Kara was taking advanced classes as a junior. It was the shout of Kara’s that drew Alex’s attention. Alex hadn’t heard her sound that scared since the nightmares had finally stopped. That struck Alex down to her core. Kara Zor-El was not Alex’s sister, but that did not stop her from loving her.

Alex gripped the railing of the stairs and vaulted down to the next flight. She landed lightly on the balls of her feet. She put what she hoped was a calming hand on Kara’s shoulder. The girl startled and stared Alex in a mix of fear, awe, and horror. Alex pushed Kara behind her in a distinctly possessive way.

“What’s going on here? You alright, Kara?” Alex is blocking Kara with her own body. She knows that her Alien Girl won’t hurt her. Alex is also sure that if she hadn’t gotten there when she did, Kara might have barbequed them all.

“Why is this freak even here? Does it even learn anything at school? Can it? She thinks she’s so awesome...just because she can make sense of some stupid equations and use big useless words.” the boy spits out his words.

“What did you just call her?” Alex’s voice is a low growl.

“She’s a freak, a fucking circus freak, and you’re her freaky caretaker.” the boy draws up to his full height; refusing to show it if he’s intimidated by Alex.

Kara barely registers the shift in Alex’s stance before she’s moving, a foot to his nose there and a punch to the softer bits there. Suddenly he’s on the ground and Alex’s hand is around hers, dragging her through the halls to a secluded corner suddenly bright. Alex guides her to sit on a bench, kneeling in front of her. Calloused hands tuck blonde hair behind one ear, gentle as Jesus despite the sudden bursts of violence that they had just committed. Kara’s wigged out stare is starting to worry Alex.

“Kara, are you in there?” Alex asks in a soft tone that very rarely came out.

“Your eyes, did you know that they are flecked with gold? I had always wondered… thought that they would be just brown, but there are a thousand other colors in there too. I never knew…” Kara whispers and her eyes never stray from Alex’s.

“Kara… you’re colorblind. How can you see that?” Alex asks, her hand squeezing a jean clad knee just a bit more tightly. Seeing that, she yanked herself away as though burned.

“You touched me and the rainbow returned.” Kara said, cast back into the noir movie that she had been living in before she and Alex had ever touched. “If you don’t want that with me, I will totally understand. We were meant to be sisters.”

To herself Kara is glad that the one thing she had gotten to memorize was the way colors swirled to make the eyes of who was meant to be her beloved.’’

“I need… I need to think.” Alex’s body pressed back into the cold wall behind her before she fled.

Kara drew her knees to her chest and burned her face in worn material that she now knew to be a soft shade of blue. She remembered the Art Institute in Argos City on Krypton. The smell of paint had been a comfort to her then. It was different than the smell of paint on Earth, but back home she had been an artist and a warrior.

Here, she could not show her strength for fear of attack or repercussions to the people she had come to love. Here she could not show that side of herself that could create in color, pencils didn’t cut it, because the one woman who could unlock the spectrum for her didn’t want her.

Kara stood and her feet carried her at an almost more than human pace up three flights of stairs to the school’s roof. She wanted to scream or punch something. Kara knew what things were meant to look like. The bark part of trees was supposed to be brown and the leaves green. The sky on this planet, blue, and the clouds white. She wondered if the brown of tree trunks was at all similar to the mahogany purple, red-brown, gold of Alex’s eyes.

In that moment, Kara knew that she couldn’t be there anymore. Her knees bent nad she jumped as high as she could. Kara hadn’t allowed herself to fly in years. The rush of it all, the wind in her face, the feeling of her powers rushing through her veins wasn’t something that she had been able to make herself forget. She laughed and cried all at once at the unfairness of it all.

Still, even at only sixteen (twenty-eight) she knew that she couldn’t make Alex let Kara love her. She knew that love her anyway, Kara would. Kara would simply covet her touch and her colors from afar. Not everyone has the perfect romance, she knew. On her planet, romance had been dead, Kara knew. At this point she would have probably received her own infant from the Genesis chambers. At least Kara has someone that she can love and protect and care for even unrequitedly.

She alights in the tallest tree she could find in the Sequoia forests in California. Kara isn’t quite sure how far from Midvale she is. Kara is also not quite sure that she cares. Eliza will kill her she knows. Kara wonders if Alex will care at all, worry, if it will be an emptiness of separation like Kara feels in her chest right now, a constant ache. She thinks that she can see the entire country from her vantage point and takes some comfort in knowing that Alex is alive and mostly okay in it somewhere.

The cell phone in her back jeans pocket rings, jarring Kara as she watches the birds fly. She looks at the name of the girl who was meant to be her partner in life flash across the screen along with the silly picture that Kara had found for the ID. She feels a burst of despair in her chest and throws the phone as far away as she can. It wedges itself into the bark, cracking down the center before falling to pieces. Kara can’t help but to mentally picture that that is what her heart look like right now.

The sunlight eases her mind a little bit. Something tight in her chest loosens a bit as Kara curls in on herself at the trunk and allows herself to fall asleep. The rush of air is what wakes her up finally. The chill is surprising until she realizes that it’s night. She could fly, but Kara thinks that a fall from this height might actually kill her. Maybe that would be easier…

She hits something hard, but it isn’t another tree branch or the ground.

“Are you crazy, stupid, or both?” Kal-El asks, black hair rumpled for once, the muscle of his jaw standing out against the perfect planes of his face.

“I can fly Clark, let me go.” she insists.

“How would I know that you won’t just zip off to somewhere else, on another continent or something?” his voice is teasing, almost playful and it sets me at ease.

“How much do you know?” Kara asks, her voice trembling slightly. It reminds Clark of the fact that really she’s just a teenage girl.

“Only that you disappeared from school and never came home. Eliza is beside of herself.” Clark’s voice is gentle but still scolding.

“I didn’t meant to worry her.” Kara says honestly. However, she wouldn’t have minded it if maybe Alex had been worried too.

“Do you want to tell me why you did go?” Clark’s voice is open and without judgement. Kara’s heart warms considerably.

“I saw colors, but s- they rejected me. My soulmate doesn’t want me and I needed to come to terms with that on my own.” Kara says in a totally adult tone. Clark can understand that. “How would you have felt if Lois hadn’t wanted you, with the full knowledge that you were literally destined for one another?”

“I understand that this has to hurt you, Kara. Still, don’t give up hope. If you’re meant to be, you’re meant to be. Things happen on their own time.” Clark says, his deep voice sympathetic.

“Can we not tell them about this? Can we keep it between me, you, and Rao?” Kara asks.

“Of course. If you ever need to talk or to hug someone who won’t break, you know where to find me.” Clark offers and Kara is glad that he grew up well without her.

They are quiet for the rest of the flight and Kara is content in her cousin’s arms. She can feel Alex in the looming distance. Her bond to the other girl grows stronger but halts halfway where it isn’t reciprocated. The ache in her chest expands again. Kara can imagine why love was eventually outlawed. It hurts when it isn’t going well.

Clark sets her on her feet on the deck. Kara tugs him down by the cape to kiss his forehead. “El mayarah, Kal-El.” she tells him. Her tone is reverent and full of love. Two pairs of Kryptonian blue eyes fill with tears. He returns the words. “El mayarah, Kara Zor- El.” then returns the gesture.

“You are loved and we are stronger together.” he adds before taking off into the air again.

“Kara!” Eliza shouts when she hears the door open. “I was so scared. What were you thinking?”

Kara finds herself in a hug that would crack bone if she weren’t unbreakable.

“I just left to take a nap and I lost track of time. Everything is alright.” Kara’s voice is soft and there is no trace of her sunny smile. She can feel Alex watching from the top of the stairs where she doesn’t think she will be noticed. Kara feels her heart contract.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to go on to bed now.” Kara says, not waiting on the go ahead.

“Go on, but there will be consequences in the morning.” Eliza says with a heavy sigh. She can’t imagine how Martha Kent had raised an alien from a baby. By the time Kara made it to the top of the stairs, Alex had padded silently into her bedroom and shut herself up. Kara could hear the steady thrum of her heartbeat. It was both comforting and horribly painful.

Kara shuts herself into her bedroom and lays face down into her pillow. Her arm slides underneath where her sketchbook lay hidden for her each night. Instead she found a simple envelope. Her name was printed in Alex’ plain hand on the front. Kara didn’t know what to think or even hope for.

Dear Kara,  
My reach on to today’s revelations were extreme I know. Just please know that no matter what, I will always love you. Come home, please. I know that this letter will never send because you could be in Cambodia by now for all I know, I have never touched you in the day or collect you my sister for the same reasons. I love you, but not as a sister should. I am in love with you, Kara Zor-El and despite having never felt completely right, it has never once felt wrong inside.

I guess that the idea of us being meant to be was just too much for one moment. THe thing that you said about my eyes… hit home really hard. If you still want me after I ran away like that, I’m yours. No more leaving. No more denials. I am so sorry. Just please, please come home to me.

Alexandra Danvers

 

As soon as she was done reading the letter, she dropped it, opened her window and jumped out. It was different from the last time she had fallen. Kara caught herself and floated to Alex’s window. Her knuckles wrapped gently on the glass. The older girl pulled it up and the blonde floated in.

“You got my letter, I guess.” Alex asks, her heart in her throat.

Kara simply nods.

“It was all true.” Alex affirms.

“You love me?” Kara asks.

“I’m in love you.” Alex confirms, almost choking on the words as she says them for the first time aloud.

Kara steps in close, still not touching her as Alex turns on the desk lamp without breaking eye contact.

“You want this?” Kara asks.

“More than anything.” Alex confirms.

“I was terrified… I thought that you were going to hate me.” Kara steps back to sit in the desk chair a respectful distance from the brunette.

“I could never.” Alex corrects her in a hard voice like the one she had used to ward off the bully in the stairwell.

“It’s just.. You never asked for this; you never asked for me. Ever since I came to Midvale, I’ve been this invader in your family, home, your entire life. Now I’m thrusting this new burden of my ardor into your arms and you shouldn’t have to deal with that on top of tending to the ‘freak’ of an alien.” Kara’s voice is harsh and unforgiving to herself.

“That’s not true. I insist that you don’t refer to yourself in that way. I asked for you every night after you told me about soulmates. I prayed to God, to Buddha, and to Rao. Now I don’t even know who to thank.” Alex’s cheeks are pink and the muscles of her arms stand on end in appreciation and excitement.

At the name of her deity Kara is a blur of of movement, eyes closing as her lips touch Alex’s. So much of their bodies has never touched at once before when they could actually see one another.

“I love you, Alex. More than I could ever have expected. Not like a sister, not like a friend. I love you like Rao and Yuda in the sky. I love you in a way that the Kara in the stars would bless.” Kara whispers it against Alex’s lips. She doesn’t know what half of it means but loves the words anyway. Because they were Kara’s, had come from her heart. She punctuates this by turning and pressing the blonde to the bed with her body. 

Alex’s long fingers tug at blonde strands that spill across her comforter. Kara’s search up the back of her shirt, desperate for skin on skin contact. Nothing about it felt wrong. This was destiny. This was God or Rao or anyone else.

This was an overload of information on her skin and in her eyes as she tries to memorize the color of her soulmates hair to remember during the times that they can’t be touching. She breathes in the distinctly Alex smell before clutching at the nape of Alex’s shirt over her head. Kara had never felt more at home on Earth before. Alex was her home now.

Alex had never seen this side of her Alien Girl before. This piece of her, the adoring, shining eyes, sexy side. Kara kissed the edge of Alex’s jaw-line and laid back, panting heavily. She let Alex hover over her and for long moments they just gazed at one another. Kara could see thousands of colors in Alex’s face.

Still, she kept coming back to those eyes. Even as Alex let herherself down and Kara pulled the covers back and the elder Danvers slipped in next to her. “You are even more beautiful in color.” Kara murmurs, threading their fingers together.

“You are a sap.” Alex scoffs, but her blush gives her away as Kara traces sharp features with the pad of her thumb.

“What is it like now?” Alex asks, “Being able to see in color?”

“I’m excited to paint if you’ll be willing to keep touching me. Still, it’ll be hard. All I’ve ever wanted to paint since I came here was you.” Kara’s smile is the kind that can hurt you if you aren’t careful.

“I’m sure that we can find a way to work around that.” Alex’s own smile is soft and shy. Things are changing for Kara in big ways. She’s found her soulmate, she’s learning to control her abilities… Alex feels a little bit as though she is being left behind. “What does our bond change?”

“I can feel you more than I could before. Even while I was in the forest.” Kara says kind of wistfully.

“What forest?” Alex asks, horrified.

“Sequoia…” Kara mumbles.

“You flew that far away?!” Alex is angry. Kara had not been expecting for Alex to get angry.

“Yeah, I sat in a tree for a while, but I ended up falling asleep. The whole time, I could feel you though. Your confusion, the smallest hint of anger, and your heart… beating in time with mine as though it were in my chest as well.” Kara had never really lost that melodic way of speaking that Alex had come to associate with Kryptonian language. Her voice had a particular lilt to it that everyone else was missing. “You can’t really escape me anymore. We’re stuck together.”

“I don’t quite see why I would ever want to.” Alex says. “I’m quite happy to be stuck with you for the rest of my life.”

“Good. Me too.” Kara says with a contented sigh. She wraps herself around Alex from behind and falls into a happy sleep. Alex snorts softly and holds Kara’s hand that much more tightly before falling asleep herself.


End file.
